Honoring a Friend on National Cancer Survivor's Day

Today is National Cancer Survivors Day, an annual event that is meant to focus on the successes in the fight against cancer. The idea behind this day is to provide living proof that there is life after a cancer diagnosis, as well as examples of hope for those who were diagnosed recently. Like so many other organizations, we are lucky enough to have one of our team still with us after a diagnosis of her own.

This strong young woman was gracious enough to allow us to share her story and her struggles in observance of National Cancer Survivors Day.

Faith Williams remembers her first impressions that something was wrong. She had found a very small lump on the lower left side of her neck, but assumed that it was a swollen lymph node, as she had a cold at the time. However, after two weeks of a cough and building pressure on her esophagus, she went to the doctor. After some tests and a biopsy, she learned that she had cancer. More specifically, she was diagnosed with both Hodgkin’s and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and her journey to recovery began.

Faith was quick to answer what parts of her treatment were the most painful. First, the experience of the bone marrow test was one she clearly has no desire to repeat any time soon. Secondly, there was the pain of sitting in the chair as she received her treatment, and the toll it took on her, mentally and physically. It became a battle for her, as she had to wrestle with the pain of undergoing treatment and reconcile it with the consequences of not undergoing treatment. Just as anyone battling cancer must do, Faith had to learn how to cope with the demands of her treatment.

Fortunately, Faith had her passions, like showing horses, to keep her going, as well as the support of her family and friends. Combined with the sense of responsibility she felt to be there for them as well, these relationships helped her to continue her fight--although the road was far from easy. She remembers a particular moment when she and her father felt the strain that a cancer diagnosis can put on a family, engaging in a heated argument over her anxiety about her treatments. However, Faith gives her dad a lot of credit, as his pushing was what got her through her final treatments.

Unfortunately, the experience of having a relationship suffer due to her condition is nothing new to Faith. She even lost a friend when that friend said that she was simply using her cancer as an excuse to be friends with people.

“It’s not an excuse, it’s a reality.” Faith said.

She went on to explain that cancer is not an easy road to travel, and that you need to grab all the happiness that you can and use it during the battle. While many people may walk out of your life, many more will come in to assist you with the journey you find yourself on.

In fact, Faith credits these people with keeping her in treatment and on the road to recovery. She remembered how she would video-chat with her coworkers before getting into her chair for her treatments, and how effective it was at motivating her. She went so far as to say that, without the support of those who care about her, she likely would have given up on her treatments. Her husband was there by her side for each and every appointment and treatment.

This is one of the biggest benefits that are to be had from support groups, and Faith took care to recommend that anyone taking a journey like hers should seek one out to join. A quick Google search or a question or two at the treatment center should be enough to find the information needed to join one.

In Faith’s experience, a cancer diagnosis is much more than a confirmation that yes, you have cancer. It also gives you so many questions:

Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

Am I going to die? What happens to me if I do?

What’s going to happen to me? What is this going to do to my body? What side effects will I have? Am I going to wind up dealing with complications? How will it change my life, how will it change me physically? Emotionally? Mentally?

What will my life be like?

Even after some treatment and a more positive prognosis, Faith says there is still the shadow of doubt that hangs over a patient. After all, there’s no way to guarantee that their cancer will not return, which will cause some fear and uncertainty.

“...Even if you get a clear PET scan, the fear is still there that it will be back and you will have to suffer all over again. The black thought [of] cancer is always there, lingering, poking its ugly head now and then. Every time you eat something or drink something, is this going to bring it back? You breathe something that smells funny, is this going to trigger it and bring it back?”

Faith mentioned how, even if you try to lock these thoughts away, the slightest stimuli can bring them rushing back. She also said how being around others who are sick is a scary thing, as there’s a fear that her weakened immune system will leave her more susceptible to illnesses, like the common cold.

On top of these nagging questions, there is the financial responsibility to deal with. Cancer treatment is expensive, and even with an insurance plan providing a buffer, the costs will add up quickly and can easily prove to be a burden.

Faith had a bit to say about coming to terms with this aspect as well. Fortunately, she had plenty of financial support from her friends and loved ones who enabled her to focus more on getting better. She also addressed the embarrassment that can come with accepting the help and donations that people give, despite not being in a position to refuse them. While accepting help may hurt one’s pride and create feelings of guilt, the guilt goes away a little once one realizes that providers only want to help, and are helping.

She also found her family assisting her in other areas of her life as well. For instance, her mother-in-law took it upon herself to give her son the attention that Faith couldn’t as she rested, which Faith described as an act that “meant the world” to her.

More than anything, these gestures made Faith feel loved, and gave her hope.

With each and every one of these concerns weighing at her heart, Faith noticed another thing that changed when she was diagnosed. She realized that, while a cancer diagnosis requires you to put on a brave face as you wrestle with your inner demons, it can also put things into perspective.

For example, she now has a personal philosophy of allowing bygones to be bygones. With a new appreciation for the value of life, Faith has simply decided she doesn’t have the time or energy to spare on petty squabbling. She also has realized that she should not be passing judgement on people. They have a right to their own feelings, and they each perceive life differently. Therefore, rather than becoming upset and critical, Faith chooses to forgive and empathize, doing her best to be humble and kind to all.

“Positive mind. Positive vibes. Positive life,” as she says.

She has also acquired a new appreciation for the value of standing up for oneself, fighting to get what you want and putting yourself as a priority every once in awhile. During her battle, she realized the value that focusing on the healing process had in maintaining her physical and emotional fortitude. However, Faith accepts that not everyone will take a similar path as she did, and will journey will have its own lessons to teach.

In the meantime, while Faith is vocally proud of the fact that she “kicked cancer’s ass,” she is also willing to admit that her battle may not be over yet. While the treatments available to her usually allow patients to beat cancer, it still has a high recurrence rate within the first five years. As a result, Faith has found herself to be nervous about upcoming appointments, still fighting her very personal battle with a perspective that she described as “suck it up, buttercup.”

She also knows where she can still find all the support she needs. Whether it's the tough love her family can give her, the cheerleading her friends and coworkers are willing to provide, or the encouragement from those she doesn’t even know on social media, she has a system that makes her feel stronger. As she puts it, “love helps.”

In the meantime, Faith has some plans for the future--plans that she doesn’t quite do justice by saying she just wants to “get by.”

First and foremost, she wants to stay as healthy as she can. She also knows how she wants to pay back the goodwill and support she received. Faith intends to go back and sit with those who are in treatment, where she felt the journey was the hardest for her, in order to help others through it.

Faith also wanted to be sure that we shared a few pieces of advice she has for anyone else going through a similar trial. Her first advice: take notes.

These notes will prove to be an invaluable resource later, as a diagnosis often comes with much more information than anyone can be expected to absorb all at once. However, taking notes will allow you to ask your doctor better questions, and (if you so choose) research your condition more effectively. Your doctor should also be able to give you reliable references to look into.

Throughout the process, it is crucial that treatment is supplemented with educational resources and communication with the medical team. Whether you’re learning about the the residual effects your bout with cancer may have, or discussing the details of your next procedure, knowledge is power. This means that you should always be sure that you prepare a list and ask your doctor as many questions as you can think to ask, and if possible, have someone else there as well to ask things that you may not think to initially.

On top of that, Faith suggests that it is very important to keep records handy--especially ones to keep track of what medications are supposed to be taken when, and that they were. This is a useful tool for those that have to take a considerable number of medications, as it provides a sense of security that there is a lessened chance of an overdose (or under-medicating someone). Faith also recommends that patients also keep a journal of their thoughts and feelings as a way to decompress and unload some of the weight.

She was personally given this journal, which is divided into sections devoted to dealing with a different part of the recovery process, like shock, bargaining, revisiting feelings and rebuilding after the storm has passed. There are many others of its type out there, so it should not be hard to find one with an approach that suits you.

We are blessed to have such an admirable reason to observe National Cancer Survivor’s Day working and laughing with us, and it is an honor to recognize her strength.

Progress is made every day toward the goal of eliminating cancer’s threat thanks to the many individuals who commit their lives to researching this challenging affliction. In the meantime, there are plenty of ways that we can help to ensure that the efforts and trials those afflicted with cancer underwent to stay alive and with us were not in vain. Be sure to visit ncsd.org for more information. If you are able, we’d appreciate it if you would also make a donation to this critical cause while you are there.